Believe In The Goodness Of Others

A thought occurred to me not long ago. Why do we (usually) assume that when people try to help us or share with us, that they are only doing it for their own good? Why do so many people have such a hard time trusting that other people in our life may genuinely want the best for us, or that a stranger may want to help us?

Now, let's be clear, I am not saying to be naive. Certainly you should always practice a degree of caution when dealing with others, that's just common sense. What if though, we all tried to focus on the goodness that came from things, and believe that others truly want to do good?

Let me give you an example. Just this morning one of my team members was sharing a blog with me that she enjoys reading, from marketing guru Seth Godin. Apparently, she enjoys reading it so much, she took a couple quick minutes to send off an email to him, thanking him for the content he provides, and how much it helps her. Now, there's a good chance that Seth would get this email, figure it was some scam to get him to look at some of her work, and disregard. However, that is not what happened at all. Within mere minutes, an email was back into her inbox thanking her for "making his day", signed from Seth. Could he have wondered what "hidden agenda" there was there? Sure. Instead, he choose to believe in the goodness of others.

Good things are all around us. People do honestly try to help us and lift us up all the time, as we should be doing to others as well. So often we are clouded by waiting for the "catch" or just generally not watching, we miss that goodness.

I am choosing, today, to believe in the goodness of others.

Inviting Change In

One of the things I often talk about to groups is how to take time to enjoy life. This is something my mom has taught me since I was a young boy - she used to say to me "Gary, the difference between a rut and a grave is simply the depth of the hole".

So often we fall into ruts in our lives and can't get out of them. Change doesn't have to be monumental, in fact if you just make small changes consistently you will still accomplish the growth you are seeking from those changes.

Have you ever heard of the goldfish principle? A goldfish will only grow to the size of it's bowl. The only way to make a goldfish grow bigger than that is to move it to a larger area, such as an aquarium. As soon as the goldfish goes into the aquarium, something triggers in it's body and it will begin to grow again until it is a size acceptable to the aquarium. However, if you simply leave the goldfish in the original bowl, that is as big as it will ever get.

We are like the goldfish - we need to expand our environments and embrace changes so that we can grow as people. How do we do this? As I said, it doesn't have to be massive changes. Tonight on your way home from work, drive a different way. Next time you go out to dinner, open the phonebook and pick the 14th restaurant in the list to go to - one you've never been to before. When you go to rent a movie, rent the one with the longest title - even if it's not a movie you would normally watch.

By changing small, simple things, you will expand your knowledge and trigger your mind to continue growing. Continuous growth is a key component of enjoying life.

What Are You Thankful For?

Just a quick note today. We are swimming in lots of work, which is great, but busy!

Today, my thought is to ask everyone . .. "what are you greatful for?"

What is it, right now, that you can look around and be thankful for.

For me? I have a wonderful family, great parents who are coming to visit soon, a career I love, some sunshine trying to poke through the clouds, and when I look out my window I see the beautiful St Lawrence River flowing by.

So, what are you thankful for today?

Positive Self Image

What is a self image? It is basically how you see yourself. If I were to ask you to describe yourself, your self image is likely what you would use to do so. Having a positive self image is a very powerful tool, and one that you will find most successful, happy people have. It will also increase the chances of others seeing you as a positive, upbeat, and capable person.

It does not matter how successful you truly are, what you drive, how you look, etc. What matters is how you choose to see yourself. So many people focus on the negatives about themselves, rather than the positives.

Can it be changed? Of course! It does take some time, but it can be done. Start by making a list of all of your good qualities. It doesn't matter how silly or insignificant you think those qualities are, write them all down.

If you have a friend or loved one that is willing to help you out, have them write out all the good things they see in you. Add those to your list. When you are feeling like you need a boost, look them over. I have a team member here who went to leadership camp many years ago. One of the exercises they did was to have the entire group write out 5 good things about each member and put them in a bag. To this day, the bag is kept nearby so that she can pull it out when she needs a lift in her self image. How powerful!

Another great tool is keeping a success journal that you can write in every night. Use this to write out positive things that happened to you or that you did each day. Let go of anything negative.

By focusing on the positives about yourself, and letting go of the negatives, you will start seeing more and more good in you, and therefore increase your positive self image. Remember, you have the power to influence your thoughts, and the thoughts of others.

Living Healthy - Exercise

When focusing on your positive thoughts, and trying to be the best you can be mentally, one should not forget that to be fully healthy, you must live healthy as well.

Now, I am not here to lecture you on getting up at 5am every day to go for a jog, or hitting the gym every night of the week - although kudos to those of you that do. I think it's admirable to work hard consistently to meet your goals, be it losing weight or having a fit body.

However, I also feel that everyone should be finding ways to fit a little exercise into their lives. If you aren't the gym type, why not try yoga or something at home? Not into jogging? How about a nice leisurely walk for 20 or 30 minutes instead?

Getting any exercise is better than none at all, and we are (I'm sure) all fairly aware of the benefits of physical activity. Topping the list of course are decreasing risk of health problems, lowering stress levels, and even giving you a better nights sleep.

For me personally, I like to make it fun by getting exercise with others. We often go for "company walks" at lunch, or I will go to the gym with my family, or maybe some friends of mine will have a game of golf. What do you do to stay healthy? What could you be doing even better?

It's More Important to Be Happy . . ..

Than to be right. Someone wise said this to me years ago, and it's stuck with me. It has guided me through relationships with others, and it is a useful piece of knowledge in marriage as well.

What does it mean?

There are times when you will argue and argue because you believe yourself to be correct. I have actually met people who will spend time and energy seeking out ways to prove a friend wrong on a simple topic of no real consequence. What do you gain by doing this?

I am not saying you can never be right, what I'm saying is take a moment to ask yourself if it's really worth arguing over. If both people believe themselves to be correct, the argument could last forever. If it's not really that significant of an argument, isn't it more important to be happy?

To me, happiness wins. If I know that a conversation is going to continually go in circles while each of us gets more frustrated, I make the choice to agree to disagree. I do not need everyone in my life to agree with me, in fact, I think differences is what makes life interesting. Rather than let it make me and the other person miserable, I focus on letting it go.

Holding on to feelings like that can only make you bitter. Next time you know an argument is going no where, choose to take a break, and come back ready to get back to being happy.

A Friday Story

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared.He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body. Neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around.It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.